Breaking up is never easy, especially when you still love your ex. You may feel a roller-coaster of emotions – sadness, anger, confusion – making it difficult to move forward and heal.
But even though this time may feel like the end of the world, it doesn’t have to be.
There are steps you can take to help yourself through this transition and cope with the pain of loss and sadness that comes with a breakup.
Learning how to cope after a breakup will help you start healing from your loss so you can eventually move on and find happiness again. It takes time, patience and self-compassion, but you can heal and make peace with your situation.
Here are some tips to help you cope after a separation when you’re still in love.
How to cope with a painful breakup when you’re still in love
1. Accept the Reality
It may be challenging, but acknowledging that the relationship is over and that it’s time to move on is an important part of healing. While it can feel like denial can protect us from pain in the short term, this isn’t true in the long run.
Denial only prolongs our suffering, so accepting reality and allowing yourself to grieve are essential to any healing process.
2. Get Comfortable With Sadness
Getting comfortable with sadness might seem counterintuitive, but allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions is part of the healing process. It’s okay to be sad. It’s normal and natural after a breakup, so don’t try to push down your feelings or bottle them up.
Letting them out in whatever way works for you – whether through journaling, talking with friends or family, or even sobbing into your pillow – is a necessary step to moving on and starting to heal.
3. Take Care of Yourself
Looking after yourself is probably not at the forefront of your mind right now. Still, it’s essential if you want to make progress towards healing.
This means prioritising your physical and mental health, which can be done by setting healthy boundaries with your ex, engaging in self-care activities like yoga or meditation, eating nutritious food, and getting enough sleep.
Taking care of yourself will help you have the energy and clarity needed to work through the pain of your breakup and start to heal.
4. Release any negative feelings you may have towards your ex-partner
I know this is tough, but letting go of anger and resentment is a step toward healing from the pain of your loss. By consciously recognising any negative emotions you may have towards your ex-partner and trying to release them, you can take a big step forward in healing.
5. Lean On Your Support System
Reach out to your friends and family during a breakup for emotional support. Let them know you need help to cope and appreciate their support – talking about what happened can be cathartic. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it, just being around people who care about you can make all the difference in helping you heal.
6. Manage your thoughts
Be aware of how you talk to yourself, as your inner dialogue can heavily influence your emotions. Don’t fill your thoughts with self-criticism or blame yourself for the breakup. Negative self-talk can cause feelings of guilt and shame, which will only prolong your pain and suffering.
Speak kindly to yourself and use positive affirmations instead; remind yourself that it takes time to heal from a breakup and that this will pass.
7. Recognise your worth
You must believe in yourself even if you don’t feel everything is in your control right now. You are worthy of love, and you shouldn’t lose sight of your own value. Remember that you are strong and capable and will come out of this better than ever!
8. Find closure by writing
To get closure, writing down what went wrong and what you learned from the experience can provide some form of resolution, allowing you to let go of any lingering feelings or sadness surrounding the situation.
Reflecting on your experiences through writing can also allow you to recognise patterns that may have contributed to the breakup so that they can be avoided in future relationships.
9. Focus on rebuilding your life
As you progress through the healing process, rebuilding your life and setting new goals for yourself is vital. It’s natural to feel lost and overwhelmed but remember that this is an opportunity to redefine who you are and what you want out of life.
Start by making small changes – take up a hobby or start going to the gym – then work towards larger goals like finding a new job or going back to school.
By working towards something positive and meaningful, you can create a stronger sense of purpose for yourself, which can help you cope with the pain of your breakup in the long term.
10. Take one day at a time
Finally, remember to take one day at a time and that taking things slowly as you heal is okay. It won’t be easy, but try to focus on the little moments of joy each day and let yourself feel your emotions without judgement.
If you feel overwhelmed or down, give yourself permission to rest and be gentle with yourself; healing takes time, so prioritise taking care of your mental health in whatever way works best for you.
Move forward with grace and strength
Remember that you are resilient and capable of healing, no matter how painful your breakup may be. Take the time to grieve and heal in whatever way works for you, remember to lean on your support system, and focus on rebuilding your life one day at a time.
With self-care, patience, and understanding of yourself and your situation, you can make it through this difficult time with grace and strength.
If you’ve gone through a painful breakup, please comment below with any advice or experiences of your own!
