We’ve all been there – you go on date after date, and it starts to feel more like a chore than something fun. Dating can be draining, and sometimes you just need a break.
But taking time off from dating can have some surprising benefits! Here are 10 reasons why it can be a good idea to take a dating hiatus:
1. It gives you time to focus on yourself
When you’re not spending time swiping, messaging, and going on dates, you suddenly have a lot more free time on your hands! Use this as an opportunity to focus on your own growth and self-care. Now’s the perfect time to:
- Pick up a new hobby
- Hang out with friends
- Start a fitness routine
- Read those books that have been gathering dust
- Take a weekend trip somewhere new
Taking a break from dating gives you space to prioritize you. And spending time developing your interests and nurturing yourself helps boost your self-confidence – which is very attractive!
2. You can reflect on past relationships
Being constantly caught up in the dating scene makes it hard to properly process your past relationships. Taking a step back gives you the headspace to think about what worked and what didn’t in your previous relationships.
- What qualities did you like in a partner?
- What attitudes or behaviors were deal breakers for you?
- What boundaries do you need to set moving forward?
Taking the time to learn from your dating history will help you make better choices next time around.
And who knows – a little introspection might even reveal some of your own unhealthy patterns or ways you could improve as a partner.
3. It reduces feeling burnt out
Let’s be real – dating can be exhausting. The endless small talk, trying to look cute, driving all around town to meet people – it’s a lot!
And online dating can be even more draining with the constant swiping, awkward conversations, and flakey matches.
Giving your brain a break from the dating rollercoaster helps recharge you so that when you jump back in, you’ll have more energy and enthusiasm.
Use this time to recentre yourself and do things that genuinely rejuvenate you. You’ll be ready to bring your A-game when you start dating again!
4. You stop comparing yourself to others
Seeing friends gush about their amazing new partner or browsing cute couple pics on social media can trigger some serious FOMO. Taking a deliberate break from dating helps you stop comparing yourself to seemingly happy couples.
Remember, you only see the highlight reels of other people’s relationships on social media – not the arguments or difficult compromises. Avoiding the comparison game does wonders for your self-esteem.
5. It allows you to get clear on what you want
Dating app small talk and average first dates can cloud your vision of what you truly want in a relationship. Stepping back completely refocuses your dating priorities.
- Are you looking for a life partner or something more casual?
- Do your date’s political views matter to you?
- Is sharing religious beliefs a must?
Taking time to get clear on your relationship must-haves helps you be more intentional when you start pursuing partners again.
6. You can avoid wasting time on the wrong people
When you’re knee-deep in the dating scene, it’s easy to get so caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new that you overlook red flags or warning signs. Taking a break ensures you won’t waste time with crappy partners who aren’t a good fit.
The next time you start dating, you’ll go in with strong boundaries and heightened self-awareness. You’ll spot compatibility issues faster and be ready to move on from lackluster relationships more quickly.
7. It reduces anxiety
Let’s face it – first dates can be nerve-wracking! The anticipation leading up to meeting someone, worrying about awkward silences, trying to remember all your pre-date research about the other person…it’s anxiety-inducing!
Hitting pause on the dating merry-go-round gives you a chance to relax. When you’re not spending every weekend meeting strangers, you avoid the anxiety rollercoaster. And reducing stress improves your overall mental health.
8. You learn to enjoy your own company
After endless dates and hangouts with potential partners, it’s easy to forget how to enjoy solo time. When you take a break from dating, you quickly remember how to appreciate your own company.
Use this opportunity to get comfy hanging out solo again! Plan fun outings just for yourself, pick up hobbies you can do alone, and lean into self-care. Learning to keep yourself happy and entertained without relying on another person’s company is a valuable skill.
9. It breaks unhealthy patterns
If you notice you keep ending up in the same type of unsatisfying relationships, a dating detox gives you the space to examine why.
Do you always go for exciting, unavailable partners? Are you giving people too many chances after they hurt you?
Taking a breather from dating interrupts unhealthy patterns so you can effectively reset. Come back to dating with insight into why you fall into the same traps and how to avoid them going forward.
10. You’ll attract higher quality partners
When you take time to focus on your own growth and happiness, you’ll naturally exude more self-confidence and positivity. Being comfortable in your own skin makes you more attractive to potential partners.
Plus, intentionally pursuing hobbies and activities you love leads you to meet like-minded people you’re more compatible with. Taking a timeout to become your best self sets you up for higher quality connections when you re-enter the dating pool.
How to Know If It’s Time to Take a Dating Break
If you’re feeling exhausted, frustrated, or jaded with dating, it could be a sign a hiatus is in order. Here are some clear indicators it’s time to give dating a rest:
You dread going on dates
- You find yourself coming up with excuses to cancel dates.
- You have zero enthusiasm or excitement before meeting someone new.
- The idea of small talk over drinks with a stranger sounds about as fun as a root canal.
Fantasizing about staying home in your sweatpants is a red flag! Take it as a sign you need a change of pace.
You’ve become cynical
Have you turned into the bitter, critical friend – rolling your eyes at every new dating story and pointing out all the flaws and red flags in people your pals are meeting?
A snarky, pessimistic attitude towards dating is a surefire indicator you need a time out. A break will help rinse away the cynicism so you can return to dating with a positive outlook.
You keep meeting duds
- Conversation is like pulling teeth with every new date.
- You feel zero chemistry or attraction to anyone you meet.
- First dates never progress past the initial awkward meet-up.
A constant stream of duds or mediocre dates is frustrating! It’s understandable to throw your hands up and put dating on hold for a beat.
You’ve “checked out”
- You zone out and barely listen when dates tell you about themselves.
- You just go through the motions on dates without really being present.
- You feel completely indifferent towards people you meet.
If you’ve mentally checked out from dates, you’re just wasting everyone’s time. Give your brain a hard reset before getting back out there.
Rejection hits really hard
- You beat yourself up obsessively after dates fizzle out.
- You take rejection really personally and your self-esteem tanks.
- Ghosting or being ignored totally destroys your confidence.
If dating knocks you down emotionally, it’s wise to remove yourself from the game for a bit. Work on building yourself back up before putting yourself back out there.
You’ve stopped putting in effort
- You show up to dates late with zero apology.
- You go out in your everyday wear with no attempt to look nice.
- You pick boring, low-effort first date spots like Starbucks.
When you’re just going through the motions on dates with no enthusiasm or care for making a good impression, a dating detox is in order.
You’re jeopardizing your values
Take stock if dating has started impacting your life in unhealthy ways:
- You’re neglecting friendships and hobbies you used to enjoy.
- You’re wasting money on dates you don’t actually want to go on.
- You’re uncomfortable with how much you’re drinking or having sleeping with dates you don’t care for.
If dating is causing you to compromise your values or boundaries, it’s definitely time to take a step back and reset.
Tips for Taking a Successful Dating Break
If you’ve decided to take a hiatus from dating, here are some tips to make the most of the time out and come back refreshed:
Delete the apps
Remove the temptation to idly check your dating apps by deleting them from your phone. If you want an extra layer of security, delete your actual accounts for a while. Out of sight, out of mind!
Tell your friends
Let close friends know you’re taking a deliberate break from dating. They’ll help hold you accountable if you’re tempted to download apps again or accept an unwanted setup from Aunt Cheryl.
Remove reminders
Put away romantic comedies for a bit, stop following celebrity couples on social media, and take down photos with your exes. Removing little reminders helps your brain associate relaxation with being single.
Focus outward
Spend time nurturing existing friendships, visit with family more often, and find opportunities to volunteer or join a class. Focusing on others prevents you from wallowing alone.
Explore your city
Use the time to play tourist in your own town! Visit new neighborhoods solo, check out that weird museum you’ve always wondered about, eat your way through a new cuisine. Discover hidden gems where you live.
Start a project
Dive into DIY projects, tackle your growing reading list, or get creative with an artistic endeavor. Set a fun goal to work towards during your time off from dating.
Make a list
Jot down a list of all the things you’re looking forward to doing with your free time while you’re dating-free. Refer back whenever you need inspiration!
Taking a break from dating should feel liberating, not scary. Follow these tips to make the most of your time rediscovering your happy, authentic self. When you’re ready to date again, you’ll be coming from a place of genuine confidence and positivity.
