You met an amazing guy and you really hit it off. You have so much in common and you always have a blast together.
The chemistry is off the charts. You can’t stop thinking about him.
There’s just one problem – he doesn’t seem to want a relationship with you. Ouch! What gives?
You start to wonder if he even likes you at all or if he just sees you as a friend.
It can be so confusing trying to figure out if a guy has feelings for you when he is sending you mixed signals.
The truth is, he probably does like you. A lot. But for whatever reason, he isn’t ready to dive into a committed relationship.
Don’t lose hope though! With a little patience and understanding, you may be able to turn this into something real.
Here are 23 signs that he likes you, but he doesn’t want a relationship right now:
1. He texts you all the time
He initiates conversations constantly. You two text back and forth for hours, having endless chats about everything under the sun.
2. But he won’t make actual plans with you
When it comes to seeing you in person, he gets a bit flaky. He cancels plans last minute or just talks about hanging out without follow through.
3. He always replies to your texts…eventually.
He won’t leave you hanging for days, but he might take a few hours to respond. This is a sign that he is trying to create some distance.
4. He comments on all of your social media posts.
He likes and comments on your Instagram and Facebook posts constantly. But does he ever ask you out on a proper date? Nope!
5. He wants to text and talk on the phone for hours.
He seems to love chatting with you, but he gets squirrelly if you try to make plans to meet up. He would rather keep things digitally based.
6. He opened up emotionally to you.
He confided some deep secrets, dreams and hurts to you. This level of emotional intimacy means he trusts you and sees you as someone important.
7. But he doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family.
If he saw this as just a superficial fling, he wouldn’t reveal so much of his inner world. But the fact that he hasn’t integrated you into other parts of his life reveals that he is keeping this relationship at arm’s length.
8. He asks for your dating advice.
He sees you as someone he can confide in. But he doesn’t seem to want you to be his actual girlfriend.
9. He gets jealous easily.
If you talk about other guys or make plans with male friends, he gets irrationally jealous. It’s a dead giveaway that he has feelings for you, even if he won’t admit it.
10. He hates labels.
If you try to define the relationship in any way, he recoils. He wants to keep things open and ambiguous.
11. Your dates are always last minute.
Instead of asking you out for Friday night, he texts you out of the blue at 10pm on Friday asking what you’re up to.
12. He never makes concrete future plans with you.
Your interactions are all spontaneous. He lives 100% in the moment, never discussing plans for next week or next month.
13. He says he “doesn’t want a relationship right now.”
Hey, at least this guy is honest! He clearly tells you he isn’t looking for anything serious. Even if he likes you, a relationship just isn’t on the table.
14. Your hangouts are always low commitment.
You mostly meet up for a quick drink at a bar, Netflix and chill at his place or a short coffee date. Your interactions are intense but fleeting.
15. He gets distant after acting lovey-dovey.
One day he blows up your phone with romantic messages. A few days later he becomes an aloof ghost. This hot/cold behavior suggests he is afraid of getting too close.
16. He never posts about you on social media.
He doesn’t want the world to know about you because that would make things too public and official.
17. He doesn’t factor you into serious future plans.
Conversations aboutcareer goals, moving, further education, financial investments etc don’t involve you. You get the sense he sees you as temporary.
18. He doesn’t want to meet your family and friends.
He avoids spending time with the important people in your life. Any effort on your part to integrate him into your social circle is met with excuses.
19. He seems to keep his options open.
He flirts with other women in front of you and follows a lot of female accounts on social media. This implies he doesn’t want to be exclusive with you.
20. When times get tough, he pulls back.
During stressful life events, he withdraws from you instead of relying on you for support. When the pressure is on, he wants his space.
21. He says he “isn’t ready for a relationship.”
His exact words may vary, but the gist is that committing to you officially just isn’t on his agenda. Don’t take it personally. Timing is everything!
22. He never talks about the future.
Conversations are rooted in the here and now. He never discusses future plans or aspirations. This is a sign he sees this as a temporary fling, not as a lasting relationship.
23. He refuses to commit but wants to keep seeing you.
When you ask him where this is going, he tells you he enjoys spending time with you but doesn’t want a serious relationship. But he still wants to keep hanging out casually.
The takeaway?
It’s absolutely possible for a guy to like you but not want a relationship.
Sometimes timing just isn’t right. He may be fresh out of a breakup and emotionally unavailable. Maybe his career is in a crucial growth phase requiring all his focus.
He could just have a fear of commitment. Some people, especially commitment-phobic men, care deeply for their partners but panic at the thought of “locking it down.”
Or perhaps he likes you a lot but doesn’t see you as “the one” he wants to spend his life with. So he enjoys the connection you share but doesn’t want it to progress further.
The truth is, relationships require vulnerability, sacrifice and compromise. Some people aren’t willing to give that much of themselves, even if they really like you.
So if the guy you have your eye on is showing signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, don’t take it personally!
It likely has little to do with you and everything to do with where he’s at in life. Be patient if you really care for him, but also set boundaries to protect your heart.
The right person at the right time is worth the wait. Don’t force something that isn’t mean to be. Have faith that if it’s truly right, it will happen naturally when the time is right.
