About two years into dating, my boyfriend and I hit a really rough patch.

We were living together and things just felt off between us. I was stressed with work and felt like he wasn’t putting in effort anymore.

He was distant and we fought constantly about little things like chores and money.

After a particularly bad argument one night, I told him I thought we should take a break. He was shocked at first, but agreed it could be good for us to spend some time apart and work on ourselves.

The First Few Weeks Apart Were Rough

I’m not going to lie, the first few weeks of our break were really hard. I missed him so much it hurt.

Honestly, We’d gotten so used to spending all our time together that being apart felt unnatural. I constantly had to stop myself from texting him cute things or asking how his day was.

During this time, I made an effort to reconnect with friends, pick up hobbies I had let slide, and work on my physical and mental health. I started yoga, caught up with old friends, and even planned a weekend getaway with my sister.

We Set Rules and Regular Check-Ins

Even though we were on a break, we did agree to some ground rules and check-ins to make sure the other person was doing okay. We agreed not to see other people romantically and to check in once a week via text or call.

Having this thin thread of communication made the break feel less final and scary. We were able to express that we missed each other but needed more time to work on ourselves.

Coming Back Together Was Magical

After about 2 months apart, we finally felt ready to reunite. We met up for dinner and it was like we were falling in love all over again! The time apart made us appreciate each other and remember why we worked so well as a couple.

We ended up having a long heart-to-heart about what went wrong and how we could better support each other moving forward. It felt amazing to press reset on our relationship.

Why You Should Consider a Relationship Break

Now that you’ve heard my personal story, let me convince you why taking a break can be an amazing tool to refresh your relationship! Here are some of the biggest benefits:

1. It Gives You Time Apart to Work on Yourself

Relationship breaks give both people the space to focus on their own goals and well-being. You can put time into hobbies, friendships, and self-care without feeling guilty. This helps you show up as your best self when you reunite.

2. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

It’s amazing how quickly you can start taking your partner for granted when you spend all your time together. A break allows you to miss each other and remember why you fell in love. It reignites that spark.

3. It Facilitates Honest Communication

Spending time apart allows both individuals to gain clarity and perspective. Coming back together gives you an opportunity to have open, honest conversations about what you want moving forward.

4. You Can Learn If the Relationship Is Right

A break tests the strength of your bond. For some couples, it leads to a confident decision to reunite. For others, it provides closure that it’s time to let go. Either way, it’s very clarifying.

5. Reset Any Negative Relationship Patterns

Spending time apart disrupts negative cycles you may have fallen into as a couple like fighting, lack of quality time, etc. Coming back allows you to consciously build new relationship habits.

6. Learn to Be More Independent Again

Over time, it’s easy for couples to become codependent and neglect other friendships or interests. A break is a chance for each person to practice independence again.

Tips for Making the Most of Your Relationship Break

If you decide to take a break, here are some tips to make the most of it and set yourself up for success:

• Set ground rules and expectations. Agree on limited contact, if you’ll see other people, and when to check back in. This reduces anxiety.
• Seek support from friends/family. Don’t isolate yourself. Spend quality time with your support system.
• Avoid social media stalking. Seeing their posts will only make you miss them more. Out of sight, out of mind.
• Focus on self-care. How you feel about yourself affects the relationship. Now is the time to hit reset.
• Do things you’ve been putting off. Pursue hobbies, projects, etc. that you’ve been neglecting.
• Write in a journal. Reflect on your feelings, what you want, and lessons learned. Writing is therapeutic.
• Check in occasionally. Brief check-ins build trust and prevent drifting too far apart.
• Visualize the future. Use the time to envision how you want the relationship to be. Manifest it.

Taking a break from my relationship was one of the best decisions

While certainly not easy, taking a break saved us from a bad breakup and brought us to a new level of happiness and health.

If your relationship has gotten stale or communication has broken down, I encourage you to at least consider a break. Set some rules, lean on your support system, and focus on you.

You may just find that the space gives you a whole new perspective on your partner and what you both want moving forward.