Dating can be an exciting adventure, full of potential and possibility! But when you’re ready to start taking it seriously, it can also be daunting.
Knowing what type of person you want to pursue a relationship with is key—but how do you find that out?
It all comes down to being picky about who you date! If you’re ready to take your dating life up a notch, here I’ll go through some ways you can be picky when dating to make sure you find the guy who’s right for you.
How to be picky when dating?
1. Have established standards for yourself and potential partners
Establishing standards for yourself and potential partners is one of the most important aspects of being picky when it comes to dating. Have a clear idea of what you want in order to attract the right kind of person.
Start by making a list of all the qualities, values and goals you want in a partner. Examples might include having the same political views, wanting to have children, or having similar interests.
Once you’ve made your list, look back at it before each date or conversation with someone new and make sure they meet all of your criteria.
Doing this will help ensure that you are only dating people who meet your standards and that you don’t waste time with people who don’t.
However, keep in mind that no one is perfect because you can run the risk of being too picky. Set realistic expectations for the person you’re dating or thinking of dating. Because while it’s good to have standards, you should also be open-minded and remember that there may always be some tradeoffs.
If someone is great at communication but lacks a certain quality, it might be worth considering if that’s something you can live with. Being realistic will help you avoid being disappointed and make sure you don’t miss out on a great connection because of small flaws.
2. Pay attention to red flags
Stay alert to any red flags that present themselves. Pay attention to them, and take them seriously. Major red flags include being physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. Being an avoidant partner is also a bit of a red flag, and you have to decide whether it’s something you can put up with.
You basically need to know your own boundaries and have the courage to stick with them in new relationships. If there is a lack of respect, possessiveness or control from the start, that should act as a major warning sign.
3. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve
You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who loves and respects you and understands your needs, and compromising on something that is important to you can be detrimental in the long run, so make sure not to settle for less than what you deserve.
Your intuition will often be able to tell you whether someone is right for you or not. If something feels off, it’s okay to trust your gut and walk away.
It can be easy to get caught up in the excitement and ignore our initial instincts, so it’s better to take a step back and assess the situation rather than stick with someone who may not be right for you.
4. Ask questions
Don’t be afraid to ask questions before committing to a relationship, especially if you’re being picky about dating. Asking questions can help give you an idea of how a potential partner may fit into your life and allow you to gauge the level of compatibility between you two.
Questions such as “What do you want out of a relationship?” or “What do you think makes a successful relationship?” can help give you an idea of what they are looking for in terms of commitment.
Also, asking questions about past relationships and experiences can give you some insight into their mindset and expectations.
Reap the rewards of being picky
The rewards can be great when you’re picky about who you date and focus on finding real love. Not only will you find someone that truly makes your heart sing, but the process itself can be incredibly rewarding as well.
You also get to learn more about yourself and what it is that you truly want in a partner and gain an appreciation for the qualities of your ideal person.
