Want to know how to get a guy to chase you after you chased him?
Do you feel like you put in all the effort at the beginning of a relationship?
You texted first, planned dates, and made your interest very clear, only to have him pull back and leave you wondering what happened.
It can be so frustrating when you take the lead only to have the guy retreat. But don’t lose hope! With some strategic moves, you can get him to pursue you again.
1. Stop Chasing and Let Him Come to You
Once you’ve made your interest clear, the most important thing is to stop chasing him. I know, easier said than done!
But constantly texting, liking his posts on social media, and trying to make plans will only push him further away.
Give him a chance to miss you. Don’t reach out for a set period of time, say one or two weeks. If he cares, he’ll notice the silence and make an effort.
And if he doesn’t, you have your answer that it’s time to move on. The waiting will most likely be agony, but don’t break!
Use this time to stay busy with your friends, work, and hobbies.
Staying busy will help the time pass more quickly so you aren’t just sitting around over-analyzing things.
Make plans with your besties for a girls’ night out dancing or a spa day. Dive into projects at work and volunteer for extra tasks to keep your mind occupied.
Spend more time at the gym toning up your body and releasing feel-good endorphins.
Immerse yourself in that book you’ve been wanting to read or learn a new skill like knitting or photography.
The key is to focus on your own fulfillment versus obsessing over him.
The more you subtly pull back as well, the more likely he is to be spurred into action.
2. Increase Your Appeal
Make sure you’re putting your best self forward, both physically and mentally.
Amp up your health, beauty, and fashion. Hit the gym, get a new hairstyle, invest in some cute outfits. Boost your mood and confidence with self-care.
Spend time with positive people who make you laugh. Reflect on your worth and what you have to offer.
When he does see you again, he’ll be reminded of how amazing you are and want to lock it down. Just don’t make it obvious you’re doing it for his benefit!
Subtly draw attention to the changes by posting a fierce selfie or wearing a killer outfit to run into him. But stay cool and let him come to you.
Getting in shape will not only make you look great on the outside but feel amazing on the inside.
Channel any romantic frustration into intense workouts that boost your endorphins. Treat yourself to some new workout gear to get motivated.
Sign up for that spin class you’ve been curious to try. Look up YouTube home exercise videos and commit to following along several times per week.
As for beauty, get a fresh hairstyle whether it’s a trendy new cut and color or styling your current hair in glam waves.
Update your skincare routine with serums, masks and moisturizers that make your complexion glow. Experiment with makeup tutorials on YouTube to enhance your eyes and lips. Paint your nails a fun, colorful hue.
Freshen your wardrobe with stylish staples perfect for date nights like little black dresses, dark denim, and leather jackets.
Feel sexy and confident in new lingerie or a bombshell red lipstick. Splurge on that designer bag you’ve been coveting. Not only will the exterior polish attract his attention, but looking hot makes you exude irresistible confidence.
Don’t forget about inner beauty as well. Nurture your spirit through meditation, journaling and mantras. Spend time with loved ones who lift you up.
Keep stress in check with relaxation practices like yoga, deep breathing and sipping tea mindfully.
Take a relaxing bubble bath by candlelight while listening to soothing music.
By caring for your whole self, you won’t be as shaken by his disinterest and will project an attractive, positive vibe.
3. Build Intrigue Through Scarcity
People inherently want what they can’t have. That’s why playing a little hard to get is so effective.
Be a bit mysterious so he’s left wanting more. Take longer to respond to texts or calls to create anticipation. Have a life outside of him with your own vibrant social circle. Don’t be available at the drop of a hat.
Give him just enough to keep him interested, while holding back to keep him guessing. Share fun updates on social media of you living your best life.
Mention you have plans when he asks you out last minute. Be warm but don’t reveal everything.
He’ll be much more tempted to step up pursuit.
Don’t respond to his texts and calls immediately every time. Take a few hours to craft a response and really make him wait.
Be busier than ever on social media sharing fun glimpses of time with your fabulous friends, passion projects, and exciting events.
He needs to know you have a full, happy life that he’s not the center of.
If he asks if you’re free at the last minute, say you have other plans already but could do something another time.
Don’t hang on his every word and cancel existing commitments to accommodate him. This air of scarcity makes you more valuable.
When you do see him, be a little mysterious about the details of what you’ve been up to lately.
If he asks how your weekend was, just say “Great, I had fun with friends!” versus giving him a full play-by play.
He doesn’t need to know everything going on in your world. Give him just enough so he’s hooked but still wanting to know more.
4. Flirt Subtly to Remind Him Why He’s Interested
Once you’ve given him space to pursue you, drop little hints to spark his interest.
Respond to his texts in a playful, banter-filled way. Laugh at his jokes. Casually touch his arm when you say hi.
Compliment his new haircut. Ask questions and really listen when you talk.
Flirting reminds him of your initial connection and chemistry. Just don’t go overboard or be overly available. Keep it light to intrigue him just enough that he wants to take things further.
Respond to his texts with witty, playful banter versus just facts. Tease him back if he teases you. Use flirtatious emojis like the winky face. Bring up funny memories you have together from past dates.
Laugh and smile a lot when you interact. Gently touch his forearm or shoulder briefly when you greet him. Make eye contact and hold it an extra beat.
Pay sincere compliments like “That shirt looks great on you!” or “I like what you’ve done with your hair.”
Ask him engaging questions about his job, friends, interests and listen intently to the answers.
But don’t pepper him with too many texts or fawn over him excessively. Keep it light and natural so he leaves the interaction wanting more.
5. Connect in Meaningful Ways
Focus on emotional connection versus superficial small talk. Have real conversations where you’re vulnerable and let him get to know the real you. Open up about your hopes, dreams and passions.
Ask thoughtful questions and share wisdom around deeper topics.
Forming a strong mental and emotional bond builds intimacy critical for a lasting relationship. Show your compassion, intelligence and depth. Be a trustworthy confidant he can depend on. Nurture closeness through quality communication versus quantity.
Ask thoughtful questions and share personal details to nurture deeper intimacy. What are his biggest goals and dreams? What is his outlook on spirituality or social issues? Open up about your own aspirations, beliefs and values. Share insights from thought-provoking books you’ve read or podcasts you’ve listened to.
Have discussions about substantial topics in the news, history, science or philosophy. Don’t shy away from respectful debates.
Reveal intimate emotions, worries and vulnerabilities. Be an understanding, nonjudgmental listener if he confides his own insecurities.
Compliment his talents and abilities that go beyond the superficial, like his business savvy or musical skills.
Thank him when he gives you wise advice. Share how much his friendship means to you. Give comforting hugs when he needs support.
This mental and emotional intimacy creates a foundation for a lasting romantic connection, beyond just physical attraction. He’ll feel bonded, appreciated and safe to keep coming back.
6. Date Yourself
Focus time and energy on self-love and nurturing your interests outside of him. Take yourself on solo dates like museum visits, concerts, or hiking. Have a spa day. Take a fun class. Join a club. Pick up a new hobby.
Pursuing your passions makes you glow with joy that is irresistible. It also shows you have a full, fulfilling life without him that he’ll want to be part of.
Don’t make everything about winning him over. Develop yourself and let what’s meant to be, be.
Treat yourself to solo experiences that feed your soul and bring you joy.
Learn something new by taking a cooking, painting, or dance class. Join a recreational sports team, hiking club, or volunteer group to meet new people. Sign up for that half marathon you’ve been talking about running.
Stay busy pursuing personal passions, growth and pleasure outside of romantic relationships. You’ll exude an attractive air of confidence and fulfillment that draws others in. Don’t put your life on hold waiting for someone else. Keep watering your own grass.
When you’re excited about your own life, you won’t come across as needy or desperate.
You become irresistible by being completely fine on your own.
He’ll feel lucky to become part of your world versus you revolving your world around him.
Be Realistic About Expectations
As much as you want his attention back, it may not happen. And if it does, things may not progress like you hope. Manage your expectations to avoid unnecessary pain. Appreciate any effort he makes without banking on more.
He may just need time and space to sort out his feelings after your initial chase wore him out. Or he may have lost interest and doesn’t see long-term potential. That’s okay! Every situation serves a purpose to help you learn and grow.
Focus on being your best self, living your fullest life, and having faith that what’s meant for you will happen. Don’t bend yourself trying to fit someone else’s mold. Mutual interest and effort are required.
See challenges as opportunities to get clearer on what you really want and know you deserve. Rather than obsessing over one person, keep your options open to meeting someone who reciprocates your feelings. But also be content on your own.
Desperation drives people away. When you radiate inner joy and wholeness, you attract lasting love without chasing. Trust in divine timing and release unrealistic expectations. Go with the flow.
