Going through a breakup can be emotionally devastating.

You find yourself sitting on the couch, surrounded by crumpled tissues and feeling more alone than ever.

As you reflect on the slow unraveling of your relationship and the excruciating breakup that followed, you realize it’s really over.

While you know it was the right decision, your heart feels shattered. 

Breakups can chip away at your spirit piece by piece. The waves of grief, anger and uncertainty about the future seem unrelenting.

However, breakups also present an opportunity for positive growth and change.

With some self-care and reflection, you can “glow up” and come out feeling renewed and refreshed.

1. Let Yourself Feel the Feelings

Don’t bottle up your emotions after a breakup. Let yourself fully process the sadness, grief, anger, or whatever else you’re feeling.

Have a good cry, vent to friends, or journal about your thoughts. Releasing pent-up emotions will help you start moving forward.

Take time to fully mourn the end of the relationship. Listen to sad music if you need to wallow for a bit.

Talk to close friends about what you’re going through. Consider seeing a therapist if you’re having trouble processing everything.

The key is to feel your feelings rather than suppress them. This is an important part of the healing process.

2. Lean on Your Support System

Surround yourself with positive people who build you up. Spend time with family, friends, mentors, or a support group.

Share your story, ask for encouragement, and don’t be afraid to lean on your loved ones. Having the right people in your corner makes a breakup much more manageable.

Make an effort to see supportive friends and family regularly.

Tell them what you need from them – whether it’s distraction, advice, or just a shoulder to cry on.

If you don’t feel like you have a strong support system, consider joining a local support group. Talking with others going through breakups can help normalize your experience.

3. Take Time for Self-Reflection

Now is a prime opportunity for self-growth. Reflect on what you learned from the relationship, and how you’d like to improve yourself moving forward.

Think about your goals, values, and vision for the future. A breakup gives you a chance to reinvent yourself.

Set aside quiet time for journaling every day. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and revelations.

Review your journal after a few weeks to see how far you’ve come. If there are patterns or behaviors you want to change, make a plan to work on them.

Look for a relationship coach or advisor who can help you gain clarity.

Be honest with yourself during self-reflection. The more you learn, the better you’ll be at creating the life you want.

4. Rediscover Old Hobbies

Revisit hobbies or activities you used to enjoy before the relationship. Gardening, hiking, reading, crafting – whatever it is, make time for those things again.

Pursuing your personal interests helps boost your mood and sense of self. Reflect on hobbies and activities that brought you joy before you got into a relationship.

Set aside specific time each week to rediscover those interests again.

Join local groups or classes related to your hobbies to connect with others who share your passion.

When you’re engaged in activities you love, you’ll be less focused on the breakup. Setting goals like training for a race or learning a new instrument can also give you a sense of fulfillment during this transition.

5. Adopt New Wellness Habits

Focus on developing healthy habits like eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, meditating, journaling, or getting enough sleep.

Wellness habits reduce stress and make you feel like the best version of yourself. Meet with a nutritionist to discuss ways you can improve your diet. Consider joining a gym or taking fitness classes to stay active.

Establish a regular meditation practice, starting with just 5-10 minutes per day. Set a calming bedtime routine without screens to improve sleep.

Developing even one new wellness habit can enhance your sense of self-care. Over time, you will reap both physical and mental benefits that boost your confidence and outlook.

6. Give Your Space a Refresh

If you lived with your ex, declutter your space and give it a stylish makeover. Change up the decor, rearrange the furniture, add some plants and artwork – make it feel like home again. A refreshed space can do wonders for your mindset.

Edit your belongings and donate or trash items you no longer use. Deep clean your living space for a fresh start.

Rearrange furniture to change the energy flow. Repaint walls or add new decor pieces that reflect your personality.

Update bedding and towels for a spa-like feel. Incorporate greenery with potted plants or fresh flowers.

Your home should feel relaxing and welcoming. When you love your space, you’ll spend more time recharging there after a breakup.

7. Treat Yourself to Some TLC

You deserve a little pampering after a breakup! Book a spa day, get a massage, or buy yourself some nice bath products.

Take extra time on your self-care routine each day. Remind yourself that you – and your happiness – should be the priority.

Set a budget for regular pampering treats like massages, mani/pedis, facials or relaxation spa packages.

Shop for bath bombs, scrubs, candles and other items to create a home spa experience. Do at-home face masks and give yourself mini-pedicures.

Make your self-care routine a gift to yourself – light candles, play relaxing music, take your time. When you feel nurtured physically and emotionally, it’s easier to heal.

8. Update Your Look

Sometimes a breakup calls for an external makeover to match the internal one. If you feel inclined, change your hairstyle, revamp your wardrobe, or experiment with makeup. Just avoid extreme changes as a reaction to the breakup itself.

Meet with a stylist to find a flattering new hairstyle that fits your lifestyle. Schedule appointments for hair color, cuts or styling as self-care treats.

Go through your closet and pay attention to what feels like “you” versus what you wore to please your ex. Find your own personal style.

Shop for new pieces you love that showcase your best features. A style update can make you feel refreshed and empowered.

But focus on changes that make you genuinely happy rather than a reactionary new look.

9. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Breakups provide opportunities to challenge yourself and get out of your routine. Say yes to invitations, pick up a new skill, or confront a fear.

Stepping outside your comfort zone empowers you and builds confidence. Reflect on activities you’ve always wanted to try but set aside when you got into a relationship.

Take a pole dancing class, go rock climbing, learn a language – whatever piqued your interest. Sign up for a class or join a local group.

Having new experiences on your own builds courage and independence.

Each time you confront a fear or try something new, you build self-reliance to carry you through other challenges. Stepping outside old routines can be rejuvenating.

10. Learn Relationship Lessons

Reflect on any relationship patterns or issues that may have contributed to the breakup. Consider seeing a counselor or coach to help uncover ways you can grow.

Accepting your own role will prevent repeating mistakes. Journal about your relationship reflections and insights. Make lists of patterns, problems, and lessons learned.

Ask a trusted friend to share their perspective too. Consider meeting with a counselor or relationship coach to gain an outsider’s perspective on ways you can grow.

Look for healthy relationship role models you can learn from. The more you understand your own role in why things ended, the better you can choose partners and communicate in future relationships.

11. Set Meaningful Goals

Channel your energy into personal goals that excite you. What have you always wanted to accomplish?

Sign up for a class, plan a trip, create a vision board – having goals gives you purpose and hope. Ask yourself what you’re passionate about or have always wanted to do but never made time for.

Choose one or two meaningful goals to work towards, whether it’s career advancement, artistic expression, or athletic achievement.

Break your goals down into manageable steps and set a timeline. Join groups, take classes, and learn from people further ahead.

Having milestones along the way will help you focus on the future with optimism. Living purposefully empowers you.

12. Embrace Single Life

Remember, a relationship does not define your worth. Embrace this time to focus on your needs and desires without compromise.

Enjoy your freedom and independence after the breakup. Spend time focusing on your personal growth and pursuing activities you enjoy. Don’t feel pressured to get back into dating before you’re ready. Develop your own vision for your lifestyle as a single person.

Join groups and causes you care about. Travel solo and make new friends.

Creating your own fulfilling life helps build confidence. This period can be an exciting opportunity to learn about yourself.

The right partner will appreciate your happiness and independence when the time is right.

13. Remove Reminders from Your Space

Pack up gifts, photos, or belongings that remind you of your ex. You don’t need to throw them away, but consider storing them out of sight for now.

Removing reminders helps provide emotional distance. Box up physical reminders and put them in storage to avoid daily painful reminders.

Resist viewing your ex’s social media and ask mutual friends not to discuss him or her. If songs, places, or activities trigger emotional memories, avoid those for now.

When you’re ready, revisit sentimental items objectively. The goal is not to erase your ex, but to avoid constant painful associations while you heal. In time, you’ll be able to reflect fondly.

14. Fill Your Calendar

Resist the urge to isolate yourself after a breakup. Make plans with supportive friends and family regularly.

Attend Meetups or community events. Staying busy and engaged helps the time pass quickly.

Schedule coffee dates, movie nights, game nights, dinners or day trips regularly with supportive people.

Sign up for classes, workshops, conferences or volunteer activities. Say yes when others invite you to events.

When your calendar is full, you’ll have less time to dwell on the breakup. Staying active and social helps you feel renewed.

Eventually, new relationships and experiences shift your focus to the future.

15. Be Gentle with Yourself

Above all, treat yourself with gentleness, patience and compassion. Breakups cause emotional wounds that take time to fully heal.

Acknowledge each small step forward, and give yourself the grace to have down days too. With self-love, you will glow up again.

Don’t beat yourself up for having setbacks, down days, or moments of anger, hurt or sadness. Remind yourself that all of your feelings are valid and you don’t have to “get over it” on anyone else’s timeline.

Take time to grieve and process at your own pace. Do things each day that bring you joy, whether it’s listening to music, being in nature, or any small act of self-care.

Growth and change happen one day at a time. You will get through this.