I used to be the girl who would text a guy first, make the plans for our next date, and basically chase after any guy I was interested in.

I thought I was showing him how much I liked him by always being available and making the effort.

Time and time again, my eagerness backfired. The guys I pursued inevitably lost interest or started taking me for granted.

But it all changed when my best friend gave me some life-changing dating advice: lean back and let him come to you.

I scoffed – isn’t that playing games? But when I actually tried it, I was amazed.

At first, leaning back felt unnatural and difficult for me – I was so used to chasing men!

But the more I practiced it, the more empowered I felt. I was finally in control of my dating life.

When I leaned back with my now-boyfriend, it drove him crazy with desire – he asked me to be his girlfriend within 2 months!

So next time you’re pursuing a great guy, resist the urge to chase him. Instead, lean back and let him lead.

Trust me, you’ll weed out the time-wasters, gain his respect, and have him begging for your attention!

What Does Leaning Back in a Relationship Mean?

Leaning back in a relationship means taking a more passive, laidback approach in the early stages of dating.

The overall goal is to communicate that your affection and attention need to be earned. It flips the “chase dynamic” so he’s pursuing you, rather than the other way around.

Leaning back in dating establishes that you are a high-value woman with a full, fun life outside of him. It keeps his interest and avoids you coming across as overly eager or desperate.

So in a nutshell, it’s a simple yet effective strategy to gain his respect and take control of the dynamic.

Why Leaning Back And Letting Coming To You Is The Key To Successful Dating?

You Gain His Respect

When you’re always the one initiating contact, planning the dates, and moving the relationship forward, a man will subconsciously think you’re “easy” and don’t value yourself highly.

By leaning back and making him work for your attention, you communicate that your time and affection are precious, and he needs to earn them.

This makes you more of a challenge in his eyes – and we all want what we can’t have!

You Take Control of the Dynamic

If you’re overly available and eager, you hand over all the power in the relationship to him.

Leaning back puts you in the driver’s seat and stops you giving way all your power, it makes him do the chasing.

Men enjoy a challenge and the thrill of the chase. So when you lean back, you create that exciting chase scenario.

You Filter Out Time-Wasters

A man who is only lukewarm about you will lose interest when you stop pursuing him. This helps weed out the guys who aren’t serious or committed.

The right man who is really into you will be undeterred by a little challenge.

Leaning back helps filter for men who will step up to the plate.

You Avoid Seeming “Needy”

Nothing kills a budding relationship faster than seeming too eager or needy.

Men equate neediness with desperation – a major turn-off.

When you lean back, you avoid constantly being available and displaying needy behaviors like overtexting.

This makes you appear more attractive and high-value.

How To Lean Back And Let Him Come To You

Don’t Initiate Contact

This is the cardinal rule of leaning back. After a date, do not text him first.

Let him be the one to reach out and make plans for the next date.

If he doesn’t text, do not panic. Simply move on. If a man is interested, he will text you.

Wait Before Responding to His Texts

Don’t instantly respond every time he texts or calls. Take a bit of time to respond (15 minutes to a few hours).

This shows him you have a full, busy life outside of him. It also builds anticipation and keeps him on his toes.

Limit Communication Between Dates

Keep texting to a minimum between dates. Be a little mysterious – don’t tell him every detail of your day.

Save conversations for in-person dates so he’s excited to see you again. Limiting communication also prevents you from seeming too available.

Don’t Schedule Plans Last Minute

Don’t keep your calendar wide open and let him make too many last-minute dates. The odd last-minute plan is fine. Spontaneous dates are exciting.

But for the most part, if he wants to see you, he’ll need to lock down dates days in advance,

This shows him your time is valuable and reinforces that he needs to act fast if he wants some of your precious time.

Cancel Occasionally

If he takes you for granted, cancel a date occasionally so he remembers that you have other options.

Be breezy – don’t punish him. Simply say you have to reschedule, then wait for him to step up his efforts to see you again. This re-ignites the chase.

Date Other Men

Having a full social calendar with fun plans (with friends or other dates) prevents you from fixating on this one man.

It reminds him he needs to lock you down. Just don’t talk about the other men – keep it mysterious!

Let Him Bring Up Exclusivity

Never pressure him to have “the talk.” Let him be the one to bring up exclusivity and being in a committed relationship.

Men fall in love on their timetable, not yours. If you try to force this conversation prematurely, he’ll likely feel pressured and pull back.

How to Lean Back When He Pulls Away

It’s inevitable that at some point, the man you’re dating will pull back and seem to lose interest.

This is when your instincts will scream at you to chase him harder and find out what’s wrong. Resist that urge! Leaning back when he pulls away is key.

Don’t Reach Out

When you notice him pulling away, do not text or call him. Let him come to you. If you chase him, it will just reinforce his withdrawal. Give him space to realize what he’s missing.

Get Busy with Your Own Life

This is the time to fill your calendar with fun plans. Say yes to drinks with friends, weekend getaways, work projects – anything that shows you have a full, happy life outside of him.

This avoids obsessing over his withdrawal.

Be Cool and Breezy When You Do See Him

If you do see him in person during his withdrawal, be pleasant but a little aloof. Show him you’re doing great and he’s the one missing out right now.

Don’t Have “The Talk”

When he comes back around, do not demand to know why he pulled away. Simply give him warm but reserved energy.

Make him work to regain your full affection again. Talking about it prematurely could scare him off.

Be Less Available

After he re-engages, lean back even harder. Cancel plans occasionally, take longer to respond to texts, and limit communication.

Be less available to remind him not to take you for granted again.

Leaning back when he pulls away requires patience and willpower.

But it works beautifully to bring back his interest and desire. So stay strong and let him come to you!

Embrace Your Feminine Energy

When it comes to dating, we women often struggle with balancing masculine and feminine energy.

We put on our masculine energy to chase men, make the plans, and push for commitment when we feel anxious and afraid of losing them.

But that anxious energy backfires. Leaning back and embracing your feminine energy is the key to creating a real relationship with emotional connection.

It helps you avoid anxious attachment patterns and confidently express your honest, intense feelings.

Rather than playing games, leaning back puts you in a feminine energy mindset.

When you lean back, you give him space to pursue you with his masculine energy and you stop acting from fear and scarcity.

Leaning back weeds out casual relationships and draws in men who will fight for a long-term relationship with you!