As women, we often struggle to navigate the “right balance” in our lives and relationships. We tend to try and please our partners and match their energy, often at the expense of our identity and power.

But should we be matching energy in our relationships with a guy at all? Some experts say it’s crucial, while others don’t think it’s the best approach.

Here I’ll explain why matching energy can help create more harmony but also delve into some of its potential risks and drawbacks.

I’ll provide strategies for determining when matching energy levels is appropriate and when setting boundaries are essential.

What is energy matching in relationships?

At its core, energy matching means mirroring your partner’s feelings and behaviours.

For instance, if he’s feeling low or anxious, you may match his natural energy and level of happiness by being quiet and calm.

Likewise, you may be enthusiastic and supportive if he’s excited and has lots of hope and positive energy.

It can also involve actively listening when he speaks about what he cares about. It doesn’t matter if what he’s saying doesn’t relate to you directly; just showing that you’re paying attention is important.

Energy matching in relationships can help both of you build a strong emotional connection, trust and understanding. It’s also an effective way to handle disagreements without arguments or destructive behaviour so that you don’t create further tension between the two of you.

Finally, energy matching in relationships helps you both feel more secure, respected and loved. That in itself can increase the overall level of happiness in your relationship.

Taking small steps to be mindful of each other’s energy levels can bring about positive changes that make all the difference.

The benefits of matching energy in relationships

Matching energy allows you to be more understanding of one another’s feelings and needs in the moment. It enables you both to treat each other with respect and helps foster trust between you since you’re on the same page talking about what each other wants or needs from a situation.

Matching energies also encourages honest dialogue between couples, which opens up meaningful conversations filled with vulnerability and understanding instead of arguments that can lead to resentment or disconnection.

Ultimately when two people have matching energies, they can support one another through life, especially through tough times, as well as celebrate successes together – something incredibly valuable for any long-term partnership!

How to match energy in healthy relationships?

Respect boundaries

Be aware of each other’s personal boundaries when matching energy. You don’t want to take things too far or become overly dependent on one another.

Pay attention to nonverbal cues

Body language and other nonverbal cues can help you better understand your partner’s feelings and intentions. This will help you determine how to best match their energy levels.

Be authentic

Don’t vibe with someone else to the point that you hide your true feelings and values. Make sure you stay in tune with yourself to be confident about what works for both of you.

Make adjustments

Be willing to make changes to better meet your partner’s energy levels. This may require being flexible and open-minded about new ideas or ways of doing things.

You might have to invest more time doing things the other person loves doing or hanging out more with his friends.

Listen

Rather than reacting instinctively, take the time to truly listen to hear what he’s trying to communicate to you. This will help you understand his underlying emotions better, allowing you to connect with him on a deeper level.

Give space

Allow the other person room to take a break from being in sync sometimes. It’s important to give him the freedom to express himself uniquely, even if it doesn’t always align with how you feel.

Empathize

Showing empathy towards your partner allows them to feel seen and appreciated for their unique point of view. Being able to put yourself in his shoes helps create an atmosphere of understanding and compassion.

Mirror

This may include speaking in the same tone as them, mirroring their body language and facial expressions, or simply making sure you are both on the same page before moving forward with the conversation or conversations.

The risks of matching energy with your partner

While there are some healthy aspects to energy matching, it is important to consider the potential risks and how they could impact your relationship negatively. 

Imbalance 

One of the most significant risks of matching energy with your partner is that it can lead to an imbalance in the relationship. When both partners constantly try to mirror each other’s energy, it can cause one person to dominate or overpower the other.

The resulting imbalance could cause an immense amount of stress for both of you.

This kind of stress over time will eventually weaken your ability to be emotionally available for each other, leading you down a path toward disconnectedness from yourself as well as from each other. 

Dependency

Another risk is that matching energy can lead to a couple becoming overly dependent on each other. Suppose you both heavily rely on each other’s energy.

In that case, you may become reliant on one another and unable to act or stand-alone without feeling vulnerable or insecure.

For example, if you always meet your partner’s low energy level when they are down, they may become increasingly dependent on you for emotional support.

Loss of autonomy

You risk sacrificing your independence and individuality when you invest too much in trying to match your partner’s energy. If you’re not careful, you can become extremely disconnected over time and you run the risk of losing your sense of self as well as your inner power.

Lack of spontaneity

When partners become so attuned to each other’s energy that they are in constant sync, it can lead to a lack of spontaneity and creativity within relationships, and you may find yourselves feeling stuck in routines or unable to explore new activities together.

Worrying too much

Finally, if you worry all the time about energy matching, it can lead to obsessive thoughts about fixing any issues in your relationships while also trying to guess what your partner’s reactions will be in certain situations instead of naturally trusting your intuition. As you can imagine, of course, this is unhealthy, to say the least.

How to know when to match energy levels in a relationship?

Decide when to match your energy levels in a relationship, depending on the situation and both yours and your partner’s needs.

If he’s inspired and wants to try something new, he may benefit from having someone supportive and enthusiastic to talk to.

On the other hand, if he’s dealing with negative emotions and needs some alone time, he might not want someone who matches his energy levels.

Paying attention to subtle cues like body language can help you figure out the right decision.

The bottom line

I’m a firm believer that matching energy with another person can be a great way to show understanding and support. But it must be done in a manner that is mindful of your needs; otherwise, you can be left feeling drained.

Understanding when it’s appropriate to match energy levels and when setting boundaries are essential is vital for creating a healthy dynamic.

However, if you feel like your partner is trying to manipulate or control you with regard to his energy levels or interactions, then it’s best to take a step back.

In spite of how much you want to be aligned, don’t attempt to match their energy and set boundaries. Synching up with someone’s energy levels shouldn’t make you feel bad or result in a loss of power.

You should never feel obligated to match another person’s effort or energy all the time, especially if it goes against your comfort level or beliefs and starts to make your life miserable.

What are your thoughts on energy matching? Have you tried it in your relationships? Let us know in the comments below!