Romantic relationships can be tricky! Even the most compatible couples will encounter periods where the passion fades away, and you get stuck in a rut of boredom and bickering.
Life just gets in the way sometimes – busy jobs, kids, never-ending chores and responsibilities. Before you know it, date nights are a distant memory, and you two are misfiring on all cylinders.
But don’t lose hope! The good news is, with some effort and commitment from both people, you absolutely can get that spark back and rediscover the magic.
Small changes to increase understanding, affection, and fun can totally rekindle a tired relationship.
Whether you need a complete relationship revive or just want to inject a little more joy and connection into your bond, here’s 10 things that make a relationship work!
1. Listen without Judging
Open, honest communication is so important in a healthy relationship. But it’s common to hold back sharing your true thoughts and feelings in order to “keep the peace.”
You might avoid rocking the boat by glossing over grievances or putting on a happy face when you’re actually upset.
Don’t let unspoken resentments simmer! It’s time to start being radically candid with your partner about your inner world – both the good and the not-so-good.
Create an environment free of criticism and contempt where you can both feel safe being vulnerable and saying hard things.
Really listen to each other intently, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Seek first to understand your partner’s perspective rather than rushing to disagree or defend yourself.
Make your relationship a judgement-free zone. When you can both open up with transparency and empathy, you’ll be able to resolve frustrations before they escalate into something much worse.
2. Respect Each Other’s Independence
When you first fall in love, it’s easy to want to spend every single moment together. But years into a relationship, it’s natural for that excitement to wane.
You get comfortable, maybe too comfortable. Dates nights become Netflix nights. You stop having separate hobbies or seeing friends apart from each other. Essentially, you turn into a single blob!
But nurturing your own interests and friendships outside the relationship is so important. You each need space to explore new horizons as individuals, not just as one-half of a couple.
Support each other in pursuing career ambitions, exciting hobbies, classes or experiences that light you up personally.
Time spent apart will ultimately bring you closer together by sparking newfound appreciation.
Your own self-discovery and growth will infuse a renewed sense of energy and intrigue into the relationship after a period of monotony.
3. Laugh Together Every Day
When life gets super stressful, humor and playfulness often get pushed aside. You’re too drained and preoccupied to be silly or think up fun date ideas.
But laughter is like relationship superglue! Inside jokes, goofiness and banter help create fond memories and emotional closeness.
Surprise each other with corny gifts, tell funny stories, pull practical jokes, dance together in the kitchen – whatever makes you both chuckle. Send cheerful texts during the day when you’re apart.
Don’t let creativity and joy get smothered by the daily grind. Inject lightheartedness into your bond whenever possible.
Shared laughter relieves stress, makes challenges seem smaller, and remind you both why you fell in love to begin with!
Make an effort to find at least one reason to smile or laugh together every single day. Your sense of humor and playfulness are something worth preserving.
4. Handle Stress as a Team
Challenging life events and circumstances – new jobs, moves, illnesses, deaths in the family, financial struggles – can put huge strain on a relationship.
During hectic or traumatic times, be patient with each other and avoid taking out your frustrations on your partner.
Provide emotional support by listening closely, validating each other’s feelings, and being affectionate.
Clearly communicate your needs – a hug, space alone, a listening ear. Cheer each other on as you deal with difficulties.
Make relaxing together a priority, even if it’s just watching a funny movie at the end of an exhausting day.
Remember you’re on the same team.
Dealing with life’s hurdles together in a spirit of unity rather than isolation will bring you closer and renew affection. You’ll make it through the storm stronger!
5. Get Aligned on Shared Priorities
Having core values, dreams and goals in common is key for maintaining a thriving long-term relationship.
What do you both value most – fidelity, family, career success, adventurous experiences, faith, humor, financial stability?
Where do your visions for the future overlap, and where do you differ? Discuss your must-haves and dealbreakers openly and honestly. Listen with an open heart.
Getting clarity early on about your shared priorities provides a foundation for weathering future decisions and conflicts.
Avoid making assumptions you’re on the same page. Check in on how you envision your ideal family life.
Talk about what showing love means to each of you. Address any major differences head on through compromise. Understanding the hopes important to your partner will help you support them better.
Where you align in terms of lifestyle and values, celebrate that special bond you share!
6. Surprise Each Other
Too much predictability in a relationship = boredom. Think back to the start of your romance. Part of the excitement and butterflies came from your partner saying or doing unexpected, thoughtful things.
You never knew what romantic gesture might be around the corner. Bring that element of joyful surprise back!
Leave sweet notes for each other to find. Cook their favorite meal unexpectedly. Send flower deliveries or fun gifts out of the blue, just because.
Plan dates doing something totally new and different. It doesn’t have to be expensive or over-the-top. Little acts of unpredictability keep things interesting.
Your partner will feel special and cared for. And you’ll both rediscover the magical feeling of wondering what’s next.
7. Prioritize Physical Intimacy
It’s easy to let your sex life get buried as years go by. Exhaustion, boredom, stress often push physical affection to the backburner.
But intimacy in its many forms nourishes relationships. Touching, kissing, laughing in bed together, enjoying adventurous sex, taking relaxing baths – all of it maintains that special connection that got you here.
Don’t just wait for intimacy to happen spontaneously either. Make it a habit.
Initiate cuddling or romantic interludes during stressful times too, not just on special occasions. Set the mood with soft music, candles or a couples massage.
Explore new avenues of giving each other sensual pleasure. Feeling desired keeps the passion alive.
Prioritizing physical connection reminds you both this is so much more than just a partnership on paper. Nourish each other’s spirits as well as your daily lives.
8. Have Uncomfortable Conversations
Certain sensitive topics tend to get avoided in relationships – money, past betrayals, issues with in-laws. But there’s no resolution without openness.
Avoidance simply breeds secrecy and allows tensions to fester. Have the courage to gently raise difficult subjects when you’re both relaxed and receptive. State feelings tentatively using “I” statements rather than accusations.
Really make an effort to understand where your partner is coming from. Don’t rush to react; listen intently first.
Look for win-win compromises when possible. While hard conversations feel scary, pushing through that discomfort ultimately strengthens bonds. It builds trust when your partner sees you’re willing to be vulnerable for the good of the relationship.
9. Give Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt
When little annoyances happen, it’s tempting to make negative assumptions about your partner’s motivations.
“He left his socks on the floor again just to irritate me!” But in most cases, minor grievances are truly unintentional.
Before reacting with anger or criticism, pause. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Assume good intentions until proven otherwise.
Choosing to be generous and graceful diffuses tension instantly. It keeps tiny issues from snowballing into major fights.
Your partner will likely explain themselves if given the chance. And a lot of the time, you’ll realize you both just interpreted a situation differently. Granting each other grace keeps a relationship happy.
10. Try New Things Together
Shaking up your usual routines prevents boredom from sinking in and draining the spark.
Explore fresh date ideas outside your norm like hiking, salsa dancing classes, pottery painting, axe throwing! Expand your horizons as a couple.
Discover new passions you can enjoy together for years to come. Learning and growing side-by-side strengthens bonds. It creates new memories and inside jokes.
You’ll emerge with a renewed sense of fun and partnership.
