Do you try explaining what makes you feel loved to your boyfriend, but it’s like you’re speaking different languages?

Well, you kind of are!

Understanding love languages can transform your relationship and help you feel truly cared for.

We all give and receive love differently. While you may feel most loved through quality time, your partner may show love through acts of service.

When you understand each other’s “love language,” you can better express affection in a way that makes your partner feel truly loved and understood.

Let’s look at 10 tips to get your boyfriend to understand your love language:

How to help your partner understand your love language 

1. Take the love languages quiz together

The best way to start is to each take the love languages quiz so you understand your own love language.

The quiz asks how you best express and receive love.

At the end, it reveals your primary love language – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.

Once you each know your love language, share the results with each other.

This creates a great opportunity to discuss what makes each of you feel most loved and how to express affection in a way that really speaks to your partner.

The concept of love languages was created by relationship expert Gary Chapman to help partners build deeper emotional connections in romantic relationships.

2. Explain how your love language makes you feel cared for

Don’t just share your love language – explain what receiving love this way means to you.

For example, if your language is physical touch, don’t just say “My love language is physical touch.”

Explain that hugs, kisses, and cuddles make you feel secure, wanted, and loved.

The more you open up, the more motivation he’ll have to speak your language.

Physical affection like hugs and kisses can create an incredible connection between partners.

3. Give specific examples of what you want

Get very specific about what you want your boyfriend to do.

If acts of service make you feel loved, don’t just say, “I like acts of service.” Give examples like, “I feel so loved when you cook dinner for me or take out the trash without me asking.”

This gives him concrete ideas of how to show you love. Thoughtful gifts given for no occasion also help your partner feel appreciated.

4. Ask how he likes to receive love

This can’t be a one-way street – you need to learn his love language too.

Taking the time to learn how he best receives love and putting effort into expressing affection through his language will make him more motivated to speak yours.

Open lines of communication are key to learning how your partner experiences love.

5. Try speaking his love language first

When you make an effort to intentionally speak your boyfriend’s love language, it will inspire him to return the favor.

When you both feel loved, you’ll be more willing to go the extra mile to show love in a way that’s meaningful to your partner.

Do little things like sending cute text messages in his love language as a way to deepen your connection.

6. Be patient

It takes time to learn a “new language!” Don’t get frustrated if your boyfriend doesn’t immediately start speaking your love language perfectly.

Change takes time. Praise his efforts and remind yourself that he’s still learning.

Avoiding criticism and being patient with each other will strengthen your bond.

7. Watch for the little things

Your boyfriend may be trying to speak your love language in small ways while he learns.

Don’t discount his little acts of service or moments of focused attention.

Appreciating his efforts will positively reinforce the behavior. Even small amounts of quality time focused just on you make a difference.

8. Communicate without criticism

If your boyfriend is having a hard time adjusting, avoid saying things like “You never do nice things for me!”

That will make him feel attacked. Instead, say something like, “I’ve noticed we’ve been feeling disconnected lately.

I think it would help me feel more loved if we could go on a date this Friday.”

Non-critical communication is key, as is making eye contact and reading body language during serious talks.

9. Set a reminder to regularly discuss love languages

Don’t just have the conversation once and consider it done!

Set a reminder every month to revisit the topic and discuss how you’ve each been feeling loved and what could improve.

This keeps the conversation ongoing. Regular check-ins prevent disconnect over time as life stressors creep in.

10. Be willing to compromise

At the end of the day, your boyfriend may just express love differently than you do.

As long as you feel loved, it doesn’t matter how it’s expressed.

Be willing to sometimes receive love through his language, and ask him to try to speak yours too.

Compromise is key! Meeting each other halfway creates a deeper connection.