They say time heals all wounds, but that’s hardly a comfort when you’re freshly heartbroken, is it?

One day your life is filled with stolen kisses, sweet nothings whispered late at night, and joyful visions of the future together.

The next, it’s just…empty. A gaping hole where your shared hopes once existed.

I know it hurts.

Believe me, we’ve all been there – sobbing into a sleeve of Oreos, binge watching corny rom-coms just to see people on screen actually get their happily ever after, and constantly checking your phone for a text you know deep down won’t come. Not today, anyway.

And while you’re feeling the intense pain of loss, it seems downright cruel that he’s able to just carry on with his life so soon after the relationship ended.

No late night calls from him pouring his heart out. No remorseful messages taking blame or begging for another chance.

Instead, his social media is full of smiling new selfies with friends. He’s already downloaded Hinge and Bumble to start swiping on new options.

It’s like the amazing bond you shared has been completely wiped from his memory in the blink of an eye.

I know that disconnect can lead to constant doubts and blow after blow to your self-esteem. You start questioning every flaw within yourself and what you could have done differently, when the truth is this is not about you.

The real reason it often takes men 8 weeks before they miss you is simply down to how guys are wired to deal with painful emotions.

While you face the wounds head on, he distracts and distances himself. But make no mistake – the love doesn’t vanish overnight, no matter how it appears on the surface.

Let’s explore the 14 most common explanations for why he won’t outwardly admit to missing you until at least 8 weeks post-breakup.

This insight will help you find closure and regain confidence in your worthiness of love.

Because you absolutely deserve adoration – it just takes the male mind extra time to come to terms with loss and vocalize sincere feelings.

But have faith, it will happen.

1. He’s Focused on Re-Establishing His Routine

One of the main reasons it takes guys a couple months to miss you is that, immediately following the breakup, a man’s main focus is getting his routine back.

When you’re dating someone, your schedule revolves around that person – you dedicate your free time to seeing them, factor them into weekend plans, etc.

So when a relationship ends, a man’s primary goal becomes re-establishing his normal routine as a single guy.

In the first few weeks post-breakup, he’s likely hanging out with his single buddies more, getting back into hobbies he neglected during the relationship, and just adjusting to his daily life without his ex being part of it.

This process takes time, so don’t panic if you’re not on his mind 24/7 just yet. Once his routine feels settled, thoughts of you are more likely to creep in.

2. He’s Trying to Stay Busy and Distracted

Chances are, when your relationship first ended, your ex made a conscious effort to stay busy and occupy his mind as much as possible.

Many guys do this in the initial post-breakup stage for a couple key reasons:

1) they want to avoid dealing with painful emotions/heartbreak after the split, and 2) they want to prove to themselves (and you) that they can carry on just fine without you.

So in that first month or so, don’t be surprised if your ex seems 100% unfazed by the breakup and is going out of his way to appear happy and active.

This attempt to stay busy and distracted delays the grieving process, which is why it takes longer for men to truly start missing their exes. Once the initial distraction period ends, reality will kick in.

3. He’s Prideful by Nature

Let’s be real – most guys are pretty prideful creatures by nature.

After a breakup, a man’s ego is likely bruised, and the last thing he wants to do is admit he misses his ex girlfriend soon after she dumped him.

Even if he secretly does miss you, his pride will convince him to hide it to avoid appearing weak or unable to move on.

Men are concerned about looking desperate or pathetic if they reach out to an ex too soon post-breakup.

This prideful attitude prevents guys from confessing any feelings of sadness or longing for at least a few weeks.

Give him time for his masculine bravado to fade before expecting him to open up about missing you.

4. He’s Immersing Himself in Guy Time

There’s nothing men love more than quality guy time, which often gets neglected during relationships.

So when a guy becomes single again, his first instinct is to start spending tons of time with his male buddies.

This serves multiple breakup recovery purposes: he can complain about you/the relationship, commiserate over beers, reminisce about past single glory days, scope out women, and generally just enjoy male bonding.

Since his mind is focused on guy time and reconnecting with his dudes, he won’t have a ton of bandwidth to miss you seriously for a while.

Let him get his fill of male bonding before expecting him to be struck with feelings over the hole you left in his life.

After bro time starts to feel stale, he’ll start reminiscing about meaningful conversations, dates, etc. with you.

5. He’s Downloading Dating Apps

In the age of swiping, what’s the first thing most guys do after a breakup?

Download all the dating apps, of course! This offers an abundance of distraction and validation, both of which help numb the pain of a split.

When he’s matched with tons of women interested in meeting up, it’s unlikely your ex will spend much time reminiscing about the good ol’ days with you.

However, Internet dating also gets tiring and unfulfilling quickly. Once the apps start feeling like more trouble than they’re worth, your ex will uninstall them – and suddenly have more free time and brain space to think about you again.

Don’t stress too much if your ex is busy swiping for a few weeks post-breakup. When he deletes those apps, his mind will wander to you.

6. He Hasn’t Fully Processed the Breakup

Here’s an important truth: men tend to process emotional pain and loss much more slowly than women. Where an ex-girlfriend can spend hours dissecting every detail of the breakup, most guys avoid thinking heavily about it for as long as possible.

So while you may start missing your ex within days, he won’t be on the same timeline.

Guys generally need a solid month or more of living life without you before they begin to truly mourn the ending relationship.

Don’t take it personally if your ex isn’t missing you quickly – he’s likely just dragging his feet processing his feelings. Once the reality of the split sinks in, he won’t be able to resist those longing pangs for his ex.

7. He’s Enjoying His Freedom

While some women feel lonely immediately after a breakup, many men revel in their newfound freedom for a while.

Without a girlfriend, his schedule is wide open and he can be 100% selfish. No more date nights, listening to your work drama, or comforting you when you’re upset.

Your ex is now free to play video games all night, hit the bar with no countdown till curfew, moonlight as a rock star, or whatever his single heart desires.

It takes most guys a few weeks to get their fill of doing whatever they want before they start craving the emotional intimacy and partnership of an LTR again.

Don’t get jealous if your ex is loving the bachelor lifestyle for a bit. Soon, scrolling through Tinder and staying out late every weekend will start to feel hollow.

Then he’ll wish he had you to come home to.

8. He Has More Time to Focus on Himself

When guys are in relationships, they often lose touch with aspects of their identity and neglect pursuits that make them feel good outside of romance.

Once the relationship is over, your ex suddenly has way more time to focus on personal goals that may have fallen by the wayside when he was with you.

During the first few weeks post-breakup, he’s likely diving back into hobbies he’s passionate about, spending more time on his career, reconnecting with old friends, traveling, or trying new things.

This self-focused time is productive and feels good initially.

But sooner or later, he’ll realize he wants someone to share his life experiences with – like his thoughtful, loving ex.

9. He’s Relishing Being Single Again

Even if a relationship was fulfilling overall, most men still yearn for the excitement and freedom of being single every once in a while.

So when a guy finds himself a bachelor again, some underlying sense of excitement is normal.

He may be looking forward to flirting with women, not needing to check in with anyone, or going out to bars and parties without feeling tied down.

While basking in that carefree single glory, it’s unlikely your ex will feel much longing for his past relationship right away.

But that honeymoon period will wear off eventually. Don’t take offense if your ex is enjoying single life for a few weeks post-breakup.

Soon, he’ll start remembering all the perks of being in a committed relationship with you.

10. He Has a Lot to Figure Out

The end of a long-term relationship creates a massive life shift for both partners, requiring a lot of adjustments.

If you lived together or were entwined financially, your ex may have tons of logistical details to figure out, from separating belongings to finding a new place and changing direct deposit info.

Even if you were more casual, he’s still adapting to a totally new lifestyle.

All these changes take time and mental energy to sort out.

So in the early weeks following a breakup, your ex’s mind is likely consumed with practical concerns about how to be single again, rather than nostalgia for you.

Be understanding of this reality, and know his mind will clear up to focus on the meaningful stuff like missing you further down the road.

11. He’s Protecting Himself Emotionally

In most cases, your ex doesn’t want the relationship to end any more than you do.

But he may instinctively try to shield himself from feelings of rejection, sadness or regret during the initial post-breakup period.

Being emotionally guarded helps minimize the painful feelings guys want to avoid. So he may numb his emotions with activities and deny inwardly pining for you.

Unfortunately, this delayed reaction means it takes longer for him to get to the missing you phase.

Know it’s not about you – it’s about your ex trying to protect himself by putting walls up temporarily, even if deep down he hates you’re not together.

As those walls start to crumble, his real feelings for you will reemerge.

12. He’s Taking Time to Reflect on the Relationship

Men aren’t always the best communicators during relationships, often leading to built-up issues left unresolved.

Now that you’re broken up, your ex finally has time for introspection and analyzing everything that went down.

He’s likely reflecting on what worked, what didn’t, who’s to blame, and if this was the right decision.

This relationship review keeps his mind occupied in the short term.

But the more your ex considers both the good and bad of your past together, the more he’ll dwell on the positives like how amazing you are.

Once that happens, don’t be surprised if you get a nostalgic call or text from him wanting to chat. Reflection leads men to missing their exes.

13. He’s Wondering If You’ll Reach Out First

There’s a good chance your ex is feeling too nervous, awkward or prideful to be the one to text you first post-breakup.

So he may be waiting on you to break the ice and open the lines of communication again. But if both you and him are waiting for the other person to reach out, weeks will pass without contact.

And the longer you go without talking, the longer it will take your ex to miss you.

His expectation that you’ll contact him first delays the missing you phase.

If you do bite the bullet and send a hello text, his relief and excitement to hear from you may kickstart those longing feelings.

Don’t buy into traditional gender roles – be bold and say hi if you want him to start missing you sooner.

14. He’s Still Hurt Over the Breakup

Even when a split was mutually agreed upon, breakups still sting and guys tend to lick their wounds for a while.

If you initiated the breakup, your ex may harbor some lingering resentment or hurt that delays him missing you.

It takes time for those negative emotions to fade so he can think clearly and positively about your past relationship.

Rather than missing you, your ex is more likely focused internally on healing his bruised ego and heart in the first couple months post-breakup.

But once the sting starts to subside, nostalgic, wistful feelings are ready to swoop in.

Be patient and don’t take it personally if he needs extra time to bounce back before missing you.

Keep Living Your Best Life

As you can see, there are a variety of complex emotional and psychological factors that cause it to take men about 8 weeks to start missing their exes once a relationship ends.

The most important thing is to avoid knee-jerk reactions or misplaced resentment if you don’t hear from your ex for a couple months.

Instead, be empathetic and realize why guys typically require more time to reach the missing you phase.

Keep your chin up and focus on your own growth, rather than obsess over why he hasn’t reached out. Get support from close friends, dive into your passions and find ways to boost your confidence.

Before you know it, those 8 weeks will fly by, and you’ll almost certainly notice your ex getting nostalgic.

Who knows – he may even admit he was wrong to let you go!

Remember, everyone moves at their own pace when processing a breakup. Trust that the man you care about simply needs a bit more time to work through his feelings.

If and when he does come back expressing how much he misses you, deciding whether to give things another shot is 100% your call.

For now, be patient and keep living your best life. The rest will fall into place.