Have you ever found yourself in relationships that you know won’t last? I know I have…(many times too..)
People jump into relationships knowing it’ll be over eventually, for one reason or another.
Sometimes it’s because they don’t want to commit to something long-term, they may be lonely or they’re looking to make an ex jealous.
If you’re always drawn to relationships that fizzle out faster than a firework, don’t fret – there’s a reason for this pattern.
By figuring out what’s behind it, you can make changes that lead to more fulfilling connections that stand the test of time.
Why People Have Relationships They Know Won’t Last
1. Scared of commitment
Honestly, one reason why people get into relationships they know isn’t going to last is because they’re scared of commitment.
I get it, being in a long-term relationship can be quite intimidating and require a lot of effort, especially if you’ve been hurt before, and you’re scared of being hurt again.
2. Fear of being alone
Being alone can be scary. It’s often a feeling we try to avoid by jumping into temporary relationships.
But the truth is, the fear of loneliness is often rooted in deeper issues, like feeling abandoned as a kid, worrying about what society expects from us, or just feeling down on ourselves.
For me, personally, being alone used to make me feel unloved and worthless. I felt like I needed to find my ‘soulmate’ to be happy.
But as I got older, I realized that wasn’t true.
Society has this idea that we need to find our ‘other half’ to be complete, but that’s just not realistic and it can lead us down a path of settling for relationships that aren’t right for us.
3. Not knowing what they want in a relationship
One of the most common reasons many of us find ourselves in relationships we know won’t last is because we’re actually not sure what we want in a partner.
We date people maybe cause their easy on the eyes and fun rather than really thinking about whether they’re a good match for us.
For some people, it’s easier to just live in the moment and enjoy a relationship for what it is without having to think about the future.
4. To feel accepted and loved
Feeling accepted and loved is what we all crave as human beings. It’s what makes us seek companionship and emotional support, even if it’s just for a short while.
That emotional security gives us a sense of belonging and validation, even if it’s just temporary.
We find comfort in knowing that someone understands and values us, even if it’s not a lifelong partnership.
We’ll prioritize our emotional well-being in the moment, even if we know deep down that it might not last forever. That’s just how we’re wired as humans.
5. To fill a void or escape from reality
When we get into a relationship that deep down we know won’t last it could be because we’re trying to fill a void, or maybe we just need a break from reality.
And even though we know it won’t last forever, these short-lived relationships can be really comforting and distracting.
6. To get revenge on an ex
Revenge is never the answer, but when some of us get burned by an ex, we can’t help but feel the urge to retaliate.
It might be because we feel betrayed, humiliated, or broken-hearted. We want to regain a sense of power and control, so we start thinking about ways to make our ex feel the same pain we did.
So, we might go on social media and flaunt our freedom, happiness, or new romantic interest in the hopes that our ex will see it and feel some remorse.
It’s not the most mature way to handle things, but sometimes it feels like the only option.
7. To have someone to lean on during difficult times
There are times when we end up in relationships that don’t have much of a future because we’re seeking someone to lean on during tough times.
Life throws a lot of curveballs that can be hard to handle on our own, and having someone in our corner can provide a sense of security and comfort.
Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one, getting laid off from work, or just feeling lonely during the holiday season – whatever it is, it’s natural to seek a shoulder to cry on when life gets rough.
Reflect on your motivations and needs
It’s totally normal to find yourself in relationships that ultimately aren’t going anywhere, but if it’s become a pattern you really need to figure out why.
Take some time to reflect on your motivations and needs to make better choices and build stronger relationships.
It’s all about recognizing what’s attracting you to a potential relationship in the first place.
Be honest with yourself and identify the root cause of the issue. Then, you can work towards building real long-lasting connections that have a future.
